I Blame eCigs.

I’m not getting into the ever-increasing irony of the “alternative” music designation. Live 105 bills itself as The Bay Area’s Alternative, but their annual BFD event is barely distinguishable from any other corporate radio one-day music fest. Lots of mainstream bands (who would like to think they’re defying the mainstream) playing in front of lots of kids (who would like to think they’re defying their parents), trying to intersperse harmless pop music with world-changing revelations for the next generation. My favorite, from some dude in Foster the People: “Isolation is the enemy and apathy is its friend.”

But I’m not one to turn down a ticket to a show, and I have to admit… I was a little bit curious to see what the kids are into these days…

Turns out what the kids are mostly into is weed. Lots and lots of weed.

"No, really, it's okay. You don't have to say you're eighteen..."
“No, really, it’s okay. You don’t have to say you’re eighteen…”

Yes, I know I’m getting older and it might just seem like the age of the average toker is decreasing. When the four of us walked through the Shoreline’s entry gates I’m pretty sure we upped the median age of attendee to… maybe 20.

But I wasn’t the only one in awe of the skill and tolerance level on display by kids under the legal driving age. Never bashful DP surveyed a few kids and, accounting for a lying variable of +2 years, it seems as though joint-rolling is now being taught in grammar school.

One kid, chilling on the lawn in front of us all evening, demonstrated his training by lining up one perfect, fat jay after another. Which was impressive. Then the kid’s girlfriend showed up, with a dad (not sure which of the two he belonged to) carrying about a hundred bucks’ worth of food truck provisions.  The kid and the dad smoked and ate all night. Which was also impressive. And Dad jumped up off the grass to sing along to a Eurythmics cover by Fitz & The Tantrums. Which was adorable.

And speaking of covers, the highlight of the day for me might have been Ms Mr’s cover of “Dance Yrself Clean.”

Next weekend, I suspect my observations of middling music festivals will continue with Chipotle’s second Cultivate event in GGP. All the while I will remind myself how perfectly at peace I am with the decision to forego Outside Lands and promote my #BoycottScalpers campaign.


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